Data point of the week
According to Vanessa Van Edwards, founder of Science Of People, first impressions are everything. She conducted a study analyzing why some TED Talks are viewed millions of times … and others aren’t. The conclusion?

“We can’t emphasize enough the power of the first 7 seconds of any interaction you have. According to our ratings, people had already made their first impression and decision about the entire Talk in the first 7 seconds of the video.”

Edwards believes this is true of in-person interactions as well. The first few seconds dictate how the other person feels about us and how the rest of the interaction will go.

The importance of the first few seconds was highlighted in a completed different study that looked at the impact of how middle school teachers started their classes. The study found that when teachers welcomed students at the door—and acknowledged them with a positive greeting (such as a smile and their name)—students’ academic engagement increased by 20 percentage points and disruptive behavior decreased by 9 percentage points!

Surely positive greetings and warm welcomes have an impact in other settings as well.

Reflection
In my last job at a college, I worked with a student who was incredibly popular … to the point of achieving campus celebrity status. Everyone knew him, and everyone—including me—loved him! I wanted to understand what made him have this effect on people, so started to pay closer attention to his interactions.

The thing that stood out the most was the way he greeted people. When we bumped into each other, he was always warm and enthusiastic. He made a big deal out of it, making it clear he was happy to see me. His effusive greetings immediately put me at ease and made me feel liked. It was always fun to run into him!

It’s impossible to maintain that level of energy and positivity for an entire interaction, but it seems the first few seconds matter most. Dogs have mastered this! They frontload their enthusiasm into the first few seconds of greeting, making their owners feel loved.

Connection Skill & Action Step: Practice Enthusiastic Greetings  
Focus on being warm and enthusiastic in the first few seconds of your interactions.

• Meeting people for the first time, smile, make eye contact, and let them know you’re happy to meet them. Make an effort to be friendly and welcoming. Show interest by asking a question about them.

• At work, when you cross paths with co-workers, greet them warmly using their name. Infuse a little enthusiasm into your voice. A simple, “Hey name! Nice to see you!” Or, “Hey name! How was your weekend?”

• At home, make a conscious effort to greet and connect with your partner/family members in the first few moments after returning home from work or being out. Being present and letting them know you’re happy to see them in the first few minutes can set the tone for the next few hours.

• With friends, show that you’re excited to see them when you get together.

Questions. Please share your responses in the comments.

Is there anyone in your life who is particularly good at warm greetings? How do you think it affects your interactions and how you feel about them?