Have you ever been talking with a friend when someone else drops by to chat with them … while you stand by awkwardly because you’ve never met and haven’t been introduced? It’s uncomfortable to suddenly a conversational bystander, there but not included or involved.

Data point of the week

This study focuses on adolescents, but the impact of social inclusion and exclusion is relevant to all ages. The researchers note that:

“There is convincing data to show that socially excluded adolescents are at increased risk of depression and anxiety.”

And that:

“The available evidence suggests that promoting social inclusion could be an effective means of addressing high rates of anxiety and depression among adolescents globally.”

Reflection

We all want to feel included. When new people join a group or conversation—and don’t know everyone there—a simple introduction helps welcome them in. Of course, it’s difficult to make introductions if you’re someone who has a hard time remembering names.

My partner and I have an understanding that if she doesn’t introduce me within the first 5 seconds, it’s because she’s blanked on a name, and I should introduce myself. I tend to be an over-introducer for the same reason (introducing people the 10th time they’ve met, because who knows if they remember each other’s names).

It takes more effort (for me, as an introvert) to introduce myself to strangers when there’s no mutual acquaintance present. Like at a conference, for on a plane. Even though studies show that when people push through their hesitation and strike up conversation with strangers, they actually find it more enjoyable than keeping to themselves, even though they *think* they’ll hate it!

Connection Skill & Action Step: Introduce yourself and others
Make an effort this week to introduce yourself to people you don’t know, in as many situations as possible. It may feel a little awkward at first, but chances are the other person (or people) will appreciate you breaking the ice and will reciprocate with their name(s) and further conversation.

Introduce yourself when you enter a new group, meeting, class, or any situation where you don't know people. It signals friendliness and indicates that you are open to conversation.

If you find yourself in a situation where you know people who don’t know each other, make a point of introducing them. It’s a small step, but one that actively includes people.

Questions to reflect on or to spark conversation. Please share your responses in the comments.
How do you feel when you’re not introduced?
When you’ve introduced yourself to strangers, how has it gone?