50. Mark important milestones. It will strengthen your friendship.
Photo by DaLiu
Data point of the week
According to Theresa Amabile and Steven Kramer, authors of The Progress Principle, “Making progress in meaningful work is the most powerful stimulant to great inner work life.”
Inner work life is defined as the “perceptions, emotions, and motivations that individuals experience as they react to and make sense of the events of their workday” and is a huge driver of employee satisfaction, engagement, and productivity.
The authors go on to say that “Facilitating progress is the single most effective way for managers to influence inner work life and therefore productivity.”
Meeting these 3 conditions will dramatically improve work (and life) satisfaction:
Have clear, meaningful goals … but not too many. 1-3 is good at any given time. More than 5 diffuses progress, and contributes to stress, overwhelm, and frustration.
Make steady, forward progress on those goals. This may require support from others, including help removing obstacles.
Feel recognized and valued for your contribution.
Reflection
We build connection when we notice, mark, and celebrate other people’s important milestones and progress. Everyone craves support and recognition, particularly in areas that are personally meaningful to us. And who feels like they receive enough recognition? Meeting that deep need is sure to be valued and appreciated.
We can also pause for a moment to make note of our own progress. I’ll do that now.
I’m celebrating a milestone this week. Today’s newsletter is post #50, which means almost a year of weekly blog posts, AND the halfway mark for 101 Ways to Create Connection and Community!
In another year I’ll reach 101 and have the rough draft of book. Progress! It was hard to stay motivated at the beginning. At post seven, 101 feels a long way off. But slow, continual progress builds momentum. And every email and comment I receive from all of you helps. Thank you!
Connection Skill & Action Step: Mark Milestones
Participating in publicly recognized milestones (birthdays, weddings, retirement parties, etc.) reinforces bonds and builds community.
If you want to make a more personal impact, pay attention to the specific goals and milestones that the person in question cares about.
Offering that—by following these simple steps—is sure to be appreciated and to strengthen your relationships.
Ask about what goals and dreams the other person has. What are they currently focusing on and investing energy in? What skills do they want to develop? What’s important to them?
Believe in them. Express encouragement, support, and confidence in their abilities to achieve their goals. Be a cheerleader.
Be careful not to minimize their doubts, stresses, and struggles in your effort to be reassuring. It’s possible to validate the very real challenges involved in pursuing a goal while maintaining your belief that they can do it.
Periodically check in and ask how it’s going.
Note that your role is to encourage, not to be an accountability partner, unless they’ve asked for that. You’re checking in with, not checking up on.
Notice and reflect their progress back to them. Celebrate milestones. Make a fuss about wins.
Question (Please share your responses in the comments):
What is something important to you that you’ve made progress on lately, no matter how incremental?
