34. Try something new … and break out of a friendship rut.
Friendships, like romantic relationships, often go through an initial “honeymoon” phase. You’re just getting to know each other, everything is new and exciting, and friendship sparks are flying ✨⚡️✨.
As you get more familiar with each other though, your friendship might fall into a routine. There’s nothing wrong with that … it’s easy and comfortable, but it can also get a little dull.
Trying something new can bring a little spark 🪄 back into your friendship.
Data point of the week
Researcher Arthur Aron conducted a study with 53 married couples, splitting them into one of three groups:
Group one was told to pick something “new and exciting” to do together for 90 minutes a week.
Group two was asked to spend 90 minutes a week doing something “pleasant” but “routine.”
Group three didn’t change anything.
After 10 weeks, the couples who tried new things together had the highest level of satisfaction in their relationships.
New experiences activate the brain’s reward system, flooding it with dopamine and norepinephrine, which reinforce positive feelings for the other person and strengthen your bond.
Reflection
I can definitely get stuck in a rut of doing the same things, eating the same things, even rehashing the same old thoughts! It takes energy to switch gears and try something new. This week we’re lucky enough to be on the Cape … nothing like a change of scenery to mix things up!
But, vacation weeks are few and far between. It can be helpful to brainstorm a list of new/fun/interesting things you can do in your area. You can do a search online and add to the list when new ideas come up. Then you can refer back to the list whenever you’re looking for inspiration for things to do with friends.
Action Step: Do something new
Do you have a friend or friend group that you’ve fallen into a routine with? Try finding something new and different to do together. How can you inject some novelty? You may want to try taking turns planning something new so that each of you can introduce an activity. Here are a few ideas:
Explore a new area together
Go to a performance, event, or amusement park together
Learn a new skill together, or join a group, club, or organization
Introduce each other to new friends
Try out a new recipe together, or make some small bites and hold a blind taste test
Questions to reflect on or to spark conversation. Please share your responses in the comments—we love hearing from you!
Can you remember a time when you “injected novelty” into a relationship? How did it go?
What is the best new and fun thing you’ve tried?
