35. Make conscious choices about your social media use. It may be making you lonely, depressed and anxious.
Have you ever found yourself feeling more and more gloomy as you scroll through social media? There’s a reason … but if you’re thoughtful about how you use social media, it can also improve your mood.
Data Point of the Week A 2018 University of Pennsylvania study looked at the impact of social media on mood by randomly assigning 143 undergraduates to two groups.
Group 1 was asked to limit Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat (hey, this was before TikTok) to ten minutes per platform per day.
Group 2 was asked to continue to use their social media as usual.
The study lasted three weeks. The results? Group 1 experienced significant reductions in loneliness and depression compared to group 2. These effects were particularly pronounced for people who were more depressed when they started the study.
The bottom line is, limiting social media use can make a big difference to our mood, and it doesn’t take long to see the effects.
Reflection Even though we KNOW that social media posts are carefully curated, it’s nearly impossible to resist the automatic reflex to engage in social comparison. It’s human nature.
We KNOW that people tend to display the highlights. Or occasionally the lowlights. But almost never the ho hum stuff that makes up most of our day-to-day lives. Because that would be boring. And never the insecurities that so regularly occupy our thoughts. Because that would be truly vulnerable.
Design by Factory 43
So, we look at the highlights and the exciting bits, and we compare, even though we know it’s not real. And we feel less happy, less successful, less connected, less attractive, less interesting, less etc. by comparison. Negative social comparison is toxic to the spirit (I speak from personal experience) and leaves us feeling left out and left behind.
I mostly limit myself to LinkedIn, but even there I experience pangs of envy … “why can’t that be me?” and, “will I ever get there?”
Action Step: Make conscious choices about your use of social media
If you’d like to be more conscious about your social media use, here are a few steps to consider:
1. Learn more. There’s tons of information out there (Google it!) I particularly liked this podcast interview with Jonathan Haidt on how smartphones (especially social media) re-wire our brains and have changed childhood (shout out to Larianna Evania for sharing this with me).
2. Do a social media self-audit. Don’t change anything about your social media use, but do try to tune into the thoughts and feelings it brings up. Are you making negative self-comparisons? Feeling envious? Feeling more connected to your friends? Celebrating their successes? Experiencing FOMO?
3. Remind yourself that you’re not seeing the whole picture. It may not even be real given the use of beauty filters ... which magnify impossible beauty ideals and fuel body dissatisfaction (fyi, social media affects girls more negatively than boys). Remind yourself that what you're seeing is an iota of information and tells you very little about the poster’s life. We have no idea of the struggles and messiness people experience below the surface.
4. Get intentional. What do you want from it? To reconnect with old friend? To make plans with someone IRL? To do stealthy recon on your high school crush? All valid! But taking a moment to ask yourself the purpose of using a particular platform can help you assess whether it’s serving that purpose. And how you use social media matters too. Actively posting, commenting, and connecting, engaging in groups that provide support and community, can contribute to better mental health and well-being. Hours of doom scrolling increases anxiety and depression.
5. Surface the incentives. It can be helpful to remember that social media is provided by multi-billion dollar corporations, whose business model is to sell ads. Social media users (you) aren’t their customers. Therefore, their incentives aren’t aligned with your needs or well-being. They need to make their paying customers happy by keeping you online as long as possible, so that you see more ads.
6. Advocate for legislation. If you’d like to hold social media companies accountable to serving the best interests of human beings, check out the Center for Humane Technology for more information, resources, and suggested solutions.
Questions to reflect on or to spark conversation. Please share your responses in the comments—we love hearing from you!
How do you notice social media affecting your mood, positively and negatively? How does it affect how you feel in your relationships? Has social media ever led you to believe that someone had an amazing life, only to find out that the reality was harder or messier than you thought?
