67. How to give great gifts
The holiday season is upon us, and for most Americans, that means giving gifts.
Data point of the week
96% of Americans buy gifts for their families.
On average, Americans spend about a week’s salary ($1000) on gifts and holiday items.
77% of females and 46% of males rated themselves as “very good” or excellent gift-givers (the remaining third self-rated as “mediocre,” “bad,” or “awful”).
Half felt pressure to purchase a gift that was out of their budget or that they couldn’t afford.
76% of survey respondents had faked enthusiasm or lied about liking a gift they’d received.
Reflection
Gift-giving is deeply ingrained in our culture to mark holidays and milestones. Yet the gifts you give aren’t necessarily what people want to receive most. I, for one, find gift-giving highly stressful!
I’ve heard the 5 love languages referred to several times, so I decided to take the quiz! It’s essentially a categorization of what makes people feel connected or loved. The categories are:
Words of affirmation
Acts of service
Receiving gifts
Quality time
Physical touch
My #1 is words of affirmation. And receiving gifts came in last at #5.
The label love language associates this idea to romantic relationships. But friends, family, and work relationships all benefit when we pay attention to what feels most meaningful to the other person. What makes them feel cared for, valued, and connected may be different than what makes us feel that way.
Art by Barbara Rucci
Connection Skill & Action Step: Give what other people want to receive most.
Learn what the important people in your life like, make note of it, and give it to them as much as possible. Make them feel seen, and heard, and truly loved.
You may want to take the quiz with your partner or close friend, to jumpstart conversation. It takes less than5 minutes and it’s fun! Or in professional relationships, ask “what makes you feel valued and appreciated?
If you plan to buy gifts this holiday season, think about the recipients’ primary love language. Would they prefer a gift certificate for dinner out together (quality time), an IOU to help knock out a project (acts of service), or a massage (physical touch)?
Questions (Please share your responses in the comments below)
What’s your love language (if you were to guess from the list above, or from the quiz)?
What is the best gift you’ve ever received?
The packaging is important too!