42. Practice Generosity
I’ve been thinking a lot about generosity lately. More specifically, how much to give … and is it supposed to hurt (a little)?!
Data point of the week
Several studies have shown that when participants are given a small sum of money and instructed to spend it on themselves or on someone else, they experience a greater happiness boost when they spend it on others.
Another study found that people experience more happiness when they feed a stranger’s parking meter compared to when they feed their own.
Reflection
It’s not exactly a brilliant scientific discovery that NO ONE feels happy feeding their own parking meter 😂. Still, it feels good to perform random acts of kindness, and imagine saving someone from a dreaded parking ticket.
We are culturally conditioned to focus on ourselves, and yet the research is clear that focusing on others has a bigger impact on mental health and well-being … and of course builds connection.
However, most of the time we predict we’ll be happier spending our resources ($, time, energy) on ourselves, when in fact focusing on others gives us a bigger mental health boost … and of course builds connection.
Something I’ve been pondering lately (and I wish someone would do a study on) is whether generosity has the same benefits when it’s easy vs. hard? For example, it’s easy to be generous in areas where I feel abundant, like giving away garden plants, which I’ve been doing left and right as I do tidy up the garden for fall. But does it even “count” as generosity if I don’t feel even a twinge of letting go of something of value? After all, plants are a renewable and ever-multiplying resource … and I need to get rid of them, so why not to an appreciative recipient rather than the compost pile?
It's far harder to be generous in areas where I feel scarcity. Sometimes a sense of protectiveness rears up around time, sometimes around money, sometimes around other resources. Like when my generous partner gave away our strawberry harvest (that I had carefully tended) to a stranger. Ugh, I don’t love that defensive/protective feeling.
In the past I’ve thought of generosity like the practice of other hard things. It hurts a little at first, but the more you do it, the easier it gets. In other words, we shouldn’t wait to feel abundant in something before giving it away. If we wait until we have “extra” money (or whatever), we might never donate!
But where is the line between giving something freely out of generosity vs. giving something out of guilt, pressure, obligation, or the desire to be a “good” fill in the blank? Sure that doesn’t have mental health benefits!
Maybe double down on the areas it easy to be generous, and ‘til it hurts a *little* in the areas that feel hard? 🤷🏼♂️ What do you think?
Painting by Jennifer Masters
Action Step: Practice generosity
To try this out, practice being generous is ways that feel easy, enjoyable, or meaningful (you might feel a little twinge of sacrifice, but the potential impact feels worth it). Generosity can take many forms. Here are a few:
Donating time, money, or belongings
Doing a small favor
Being generous with your time, to listen or lend a helping hand
Treating someone to coffee or a meal
Engaging in acts of kindness
Questions to reflect on or to spark conversation. Please share your responses in the comments—we love hearing from you!
When does it feel easy to be generous, and when does it feel hard? Which gives you a bigger happiness boost?
It’s easy to be generous when you feel you have more than enough!