31. Croissant, don’t bagel (it’s more inclusive).
Data point of the week
In a 2018 Cigna survey of 20,000 American adults, just under half (47%) reported that they sometimes or always feel left out.
Reflection
Lots of things can trigger the feeling of being left out. For example, social media makes us more aware than ever before of everything our friends are doing without us!
But there’s a specific in-person behavior that can make people feel left out.
Let’s talk about the bagel vs. the croissant. Both have delicious, carb-rich merits as breakfast foods, but when it comes to socializing, one is a clear winner.
Illustration by Mikiko.art
When you’re at an in-person social event, do you tend to stand and chat with people in a small circle (bagel), or in a semi-circle (croissant), that leaves room for newcomers to join in? This idea was originally coined by Robbie Samuels who provides tips on how to connect when networking.
As an introvert, I generally hate events that require unstructured mingling. How awkward to come into a room and see a bunch of bagels! How uncomfortable to try to break through the bagel barrier!! How mortifying to hover over the appetizers alone, waiting for bagels to break apart and create an opening to join in. Ugh.
Just thinking about it brings up social anxiety. I tend to avoid these types of events altogether or go with a buddy (there’s safety in numbers). But if croissants were the norm, it would create a more welcoming, inclusive atmosphere.
Action Step: Croissant, don’t Bagel
The next time you’re at a networking event, party, or social gathering, pay attention to how you’re standing. Create an opening in your circle so that new people can comfortably join you. Look for people who are standing alone, and invite them in.
If you want to organize a more inclusive social event, think about the physical space and what you have planned. Are there particular individuals, groups or communities who may feel more (or less) welcome and comfortable? How can you set up the physical space and plan activities that make people feel welcome and at ease?
Questions. Please share your responses in the comments. We love hearing from you!
Have you ever been bageled?
What other tips do you have for making people feel welcome and included?
Oof! Bageled!