10. Start the thing that you want to join ... and create belonging
We all want to feel like we belong to something … but sometimes that something doesn’t exist.
Data point of the week
Having a sense of belonging helps protect against the harmful effects of stress, and is crucial to mental and physical health. The more we feel we belong, the higher our well-being.
A low sense of belonging is a stronger predictor of depression than lack of social support or even loneliness. As this study concluded:
“In other words, regardless of how many friends you have or how often you socialize with them---if you don't feel as if you belong, your social support system will have little impact on depression outcomes.”
Reflection
It’s important to have friends who get you—who care about (some of) the same things, share interests, and appreciate you for who you are.
That isn’t always easy to find. Sometimes you have to start the thing you want.
Do you wish you belonged to a hiking group? A book club? An environmental activism group? Start one! Your interests, passions, and the things you want to learn can provide a great way to connect with people who share common interests and values. Participating in a group, club, or class is a great vehicle to get to know people and develop deeper relationships over time. If the group you want to join doesn’t exist, you could be the one to start it.
Connection Skill & Action Step: Start the thing you want to be a part of
Reflect on the kind of group, club, class, community, or conversation you’d like to be a part of. If you’ve already looked into what’s available and can’t find what you need:
Consider your time, energy, and interest. Do you have the bandwidth to get something going?
Are there people who might be interested in helping you?
Write down some ideas about what it could look like.
Who might like to be involved? Reach out to those people (or create a Meetup, post to social media, etc.) to share your idea and gauge interest.
Invite those interested to take part. Let them know this is a pilot or experiment (that way there’s no such thing as failure, only useful information). Give yourself 3 months or so to assess how it’s going and if you want to continue.
Not sure what to start? Are you interested in becoming a certified ProjectConnect Facilitator and starting a ProjectConnect group?
Questions to reflect on or to spark conversation. Please share your responses in the comments—we love hearing from you!
Have you formed a club, community, or other ongoing group in the past? If so, what was the biggest challenge? What worked well and helped sustain it?
A tetherball club perhaps?