57. Connection: the key to longevity
Data point of the week
Have you heard of the “Blue Zones?” They are geographical regions with a significantly higher than average life expectancy and a high concentration of centenarians (people living to 100 and beyond). Blue Zones have been studied extensively … since there’s huge interest in discovering the secret to longevity!
Research on the five identified Blue Zones uncovered nine common denominators between the radically different cultures and regions. Three of the nine factors have to do with social connectedness.
One of the Blue Zones, Okinawa Japan, has a practice of assigning young children into groups of about 5 kids. These groups are called moai—and the members make a lifelong commitment to each other—to provide friendship, social support, and sometimes financial and practical support. Moai get together regularly. It’s like having a second family of peers.
Reflection
I love the idea of Moai. Ever since I heard it, the idea has stuck with me. How would our lives be different if each of us belonged to a maoi?
It may seem unrealistic in our culture, especially with people re-locating more often. But what about a modified version? For example, what if children starting school were assigned to a group of peers with the purpose of including and looking out for one another? Or if employees entering a new job were assigned to a team of co-workers with the purpose of encouraging and supporting each other?
My youngest sister was part of a kind of accidental moai, only they called it “girl club.” Four families in our neighborhood all had baby girls around the same time … and by the time they were toddlers the parents were desperate for help with childcare. So, they formed a group, and one parent took care of all four girls one day per week, giving the other parents the day off. The girls in “girl club” were together 4-days a week for this shared day-care, and later went to school together. They are still close friends over 30 years later!
Connection Skill & Action Step: Build connection into your life
The current “default mode” for many people is being alone, and it takes conscious decision-making and effort to get together with other people. Inertia can hold us back from what we want. It can be helpful to structure our physical environment and calendar to support our goals … in this case greater connection. Here are some ideas for building connection into your life to make it the default option.
Build Automatic Recurring Connection into your schedule. For example, join a weekly tennis practice or monthly book club.
Think about the activities you regularly do alone that could be shared. For example, I rotated cooking and hosting a meal on Sunday evenings with a group of friends. About once a month I would cook and have people over, and on the other Sundays I enjoyed good food and company without having to life a finger!
If you have a move in your future, take connection into consideration. Connection has more impact on happiness than home size, a great kitchen, etc. It’s worth researching the friendliness of the area and weighing the importance of moving closer to friends and family.
Questions (Please share your responses in the comments):
Do you have examples of moai-like models? Or examples of making connection the default mode, so that it’s automatically part of your life without much conscious effort? If so, please share—I would love to hear them!
