58. Express Appreciation
Most of us crave the experience of being seen, valued, and appreciated … yet are malnourished in this area. For something so simple to provide, appreciation has an enormous impact.
Data point of the week
In the context of work, a survey by Bonusly found that:
“Almost half (46%) of respondents have left a job because they felt unappreciated.”
What?! Showing appreciation could drastically reduce your turnover problem?! I’m not talking about an annual employee awards ceremony that celebrates a select few. Research by Gallup shows that employees are more engaged when they receive weekly recognition. We all need feedback … and not just at work. Appreciation is important in friendships too.
And it has benefits for the giver as well as the receiver. Appreciation’s close cousin, gratitude, is one of the most well-researched practices in positive psychology, with a whole host of benefits, including these 3:
Expressing gratitude/appreciation strengthens relationships, makes people feel closer, reduces conflict, and increases relationship satisfaction.
Expressing gratitude/appreciation boosts happiness. Getting into a habit of noticing what you’re grateful for is one of the surest—and simplest—ways to increase your happiness.
Focusing on gratitude reduces depression. A meta-analysis of 62 studies on the link between gratitude and depression found:
“a robust connection between higher levels of gratitude and lower levels of depression … The association provides a reason to explore further the effects of gratitude-focused interventions as a method to alleviate depression and to prevent the development of depression.”
Reflection
If expressing gratitude and appreciation is so fantastic—for both the giver and receiver— why don’t we do it more often?
There’s the brain’s unfortunate tendency to pay more attention to negatives than positives. It’s easy to get caught up in our day-to-day tasks … it requires breaking out of routine. And, let’s be honest, it can feel vulnerable/mushy/corny to share feelings of gratitude.
That’s why it can be helpful to give people a reason to share positive sentiments. Session 4 of ProjectConnect does this by holding an appreciation party. Participants use Appreciation Stationery to send notes of gratitude, support, and encouragement to people in their lives. This simple activity generates a lot of positive energy! You can do something like this too.
Action Step: Express appreciation
It’s great to regularly express appreciation in your day-to-day interactions, but sometimes it’s helpful to have a little nudge.
Turn appreciation into a regular practice. For example, make cards available in your workplace, then, at the end of each staff meeting draw names. Sometime during the week, write a note of appreciation to the person whose name you drew.
Hold a fun social event. This could mark the end of the academic year, Thanksgiving, Valentine’s Day, the completion of a difficult project, etc. Here are the steps:
Reserve a nice space and order food or snacks.
Provide Appreciation Stationery or other cards to write notes on, and stamps. If you want to get crafty, you can bring supplemental supplies for anyone who wants to make their own cards. This study shows that writing 3 letters of gratitude improved mental health even 3 months later!
Play some background music and enjoy the relaxed conversation and positive energy!
These kinds of events tend to be welcoming to introverts, extroverts, and neurodiverse people alike. The structured activity (card-writing) relieves the pressure to make eye contact, mingle, or make conversation. Chatting happens naturally, and silence (or music) feels comfortable too.
It may be hard to believe, but even hosting a single event that encourages the practice of gratitude and appreciation can help build connection and make a dent in depression. More regular opportunities for expressing appreciation contribute to creating a culture of connection.
Questions to reflect on or to spark conversation. Please share your responses in the comments—we love hearing from you!
What holds you back from expressing appreciation more often?
