44. To build connection and break free of the blahs, try this

Photo by Jon Tyson

Data point of the week
According to a large survey by Cigna, one in five Americans report they rarely or never feel close to people.

One way to get closer with others is to engage in shared experiences and create memories together.

A Psychological Science study found that sharing experiences—even with a complete stranger—magnifies that experience compared to going through the same experience alone. In this experiment, participants reported liking a square of dark chocolate more—and finding it more flavorful—when they ate it at the same time as another study participant versus when they ate it alone.

 

Reflection
You’ve gotta love a study involving dark chocolate! While I regularly eat dark chocolate alone (and with others) there have been times when I’ve experienced something beautiful or unusual—such as a bear wandering through our backyard—and have been disappointed that no one is there to share the moment with.

Positive experiences are not only more enjoyable in the moment when they’re shared with someone else, they can become an ongoing point of connection by recalling and reminiscing about that experience.

When we fall into day-to-day routine the days go by in a blur, with nothing to set them apart. Creating a memorable experience makes it stand out from the blur.

Drawing of Christopher Robin making memories with Winnie the Pooh on a bridge


Connection Skill & Action Step: Make a Memory
This activity involves making a memory with a friend, partner, or family member by engaging in an activity that is worthy of thinking back on and reminiscing about later. To make an experience memorable, it should:

  • Be novel, unique, capture attention, or otherwise stand out from the day-to-day

  • Inspire emotion such as awe, delight, surprise, wonder, curiosity, joy, excitement, etc.

This is an opportunity to play around. Here are a few examples to spark your thinking:

  • Read a gratitude note aloud to someone who has made a difference in your life

  • Invent a tradition to commemorate your relationship, such as a personalized scavenger hunt

  • Go on a mini-adventure or explore a new area together

  • Create a music video together

  • Undertake a big challenge together, such as running a 10K

Questions (Please share in the comments):
What memorable experiences have brought you closer to a friend? Do you still think back on, or reminisce with each other about that experience?

Two lemurs going on an adventure on the back of a goat

Going on adventures creates memories.

connection, friendship, relationship-buildingJessica GiffordComment