104. Invest in your relationship with yourself
Valentine’s Day can be a hard (or at least not fun) day for a lot of people, whether you’re single, struggling in your relationship, or just don’t like the pressure to perform a particular relationship ideal.
Galentine’s Day and Palentine’s Day help broaden the holiday to include friendship … but what about a day where we elevate and celebrate the relationship we have with ourselves?
Investing time in connecting with yourself is always a worthy endeavor, whether you’re single or in a relationship!
Data point of the week
According to a Forbes article on the benefits of spending time alone, solitude increases empathy—and people who learn to enjoy alone time experience less depression, have higher levels of happiness, and are better able to handle stress.
Photo by Penny Palmer
Reflection
My work focuses on helping people strengthen social connections—by building positive relationships with other people—but it’s equally important to have a good relationship with yourself. After all, you are who you spend the most time with!
It’s not unusual for people to feel out of touch with themselves. Our attention is often outwardly focused—on work, activities, taking care of other people’s needs, etc. And, let’s admit it, sometimes it feels easier to drift (or plow/race/slog) along and avoid what’s happening internally. Sometimes what’s happening internally is uncomfortable or painful. I don’t always want to deal with how I’m feeling, and I especially don’t always want to deal with how I’m feeling about myself.
There’s nothing wrong with being outwardly focused. Getting out of heads is extremely helpful to mental health. But, it’s helpful to pause now and then to turn inward, check-in, and connect with yourself.
Connection Skill & Action Step: Invest in your relationship with yourself
There are a lot of ways you can strengthen your connection—and relationship—with yourself. Here are a few steps you can take:
Set aside some quiet time when you won’t be interrupted. Know that this may stir up some feelings, especially if you don’t do it often.
Check-in with yourself. How is your body feeling? What’s your energy level? How are you feeling emotionally? How are you feeling about yourself?
Ask yourself what you want, need, or would enjoy in this moment.
If you’re feeling stressed, what would help you calm and soothe yourself? Do you need to rest? Breathe? Have a solo dance party to burn off some steam?
If you’re feeling neglected, what would make you feel cared for? Do you need some quality alone time? To have fun? To cook yourself a nice meal?
If you’re feeling down on yourself, how can you be kind to yourself? Would it help to do a self-compassion exercise? Talk to a friend? Journal?
Questions. Please share your responses in the comments. We’d love to hear from you!
What’s one thing you’ve done that’s improved your relationship with yourself?
Photo by Jason Moore
Doing what brings you joy is a great way to spend quality time with yourself!