76. Time alone improves relationships, mental health, and productivity
Data point of the week
According to a Forbes article on the benefits of spending time alone, solitude increases empathy—and people who learn to enjoy alone time experience less depression, have higher levels of happiness, and are better able to handle stress.
Spending time alone at work also increases productivity. In her book Quiet, Susan Cain debunks the myth that open office plans lead to more synergistic collaborations, idea-generation, and creative work. Rather, shared workpaces kill the ability to focus and accomplish tasks that require deep thought.
Even employees who have their own offices are frequently interrupted, or don’t get time alone because they’re in meetings or on calls throughout the day.
In her TEDx talk on busyness, Dorie Clark cites a study of senior leaders, in which 97% identified “long-term strategic thinking” as key to their organization’s success. She then delivered this blow, “and yet, in a separate study, 96% of leaders surveyed said they don’t have time for strategic thinking.” They do not have uninterrupted time alone to think and reflect, despite believing that this is the most important thing they could do for their business.
Reflection
Connection isn’t just about spending time with other people, it’s also about the quality of our interactions. If we’re drained, distracted, or constantly being interrupted, it’s impossible to get to a deep place in our relationships … or our work.
As an introvert, I need time alone to replenish in order to have positive energy to bring to interacting with other people. Too much together time and not enough alone time leads to feeling overextended, cranky, and sometimes resentful. Do extroverts also benefit from alone time? In the introvert-extrovert interviews, a couple of extroverts mentioned feeling uncomfortable with unstructured alone time.
Of course, there are also different types of alone time. For example, feeling alone and lonely is very different from enjoying solitude, “me time,” or getting into a state of flow (deeply absorbed in what you’re doing).
Connection Skill & Action Step: Spend some time alone
If you’re someone who needs alone time to replenish, or simply enjoys it, think about how you can carve it out for yourself. Here are a few ideas to help you make it happen, and to make the most out of it.
When. Decide on a time that will fit your schedule and meet your needs. A few minutes in the morning to set yourself up for the day? A few minutes in the evening to unwind? Put it on your calendar!
Where. Is there a quiet place where you can shut the door and not be interrupted? If that’s not an option in your home, can you go outside? Or put on some earphones and mentally check out for awhile?
What do you want to do during your time alone that would feel restorative?
If you live with other people, come to an agreement about when and where you’ll be taking alone time, and an understanding that it’s uninterruptable. Encourage the other people in your home to schedule alone time too!
Alone time at work.
If you would benefit from more alone time at work to plan, reflect, or focus on tasks that require deep thought, consider having a conversation with your team and/or higher-ups about changing some of the workplace norms, such as:
Adopting a “closed door policy” for at least part of the day. Having an open door may seem welcoming and inviting, but one of the things it invites is interruption, noise and distraction. Consider experimenting with closed doors in the morning, and open doors in the afternoon, or getting creative with door signs, such as “trying to get stuff done, please come back later” or “focus in progress” or “please come in so I can procrastinate.”
Consider turning off email notifications and letting people know that you respond to emails twice a day at allotted times.
Evaluate the value of the meetings you’re in, particularly with large groups. Well-structured and facilitated meetings can improve communication, expedite work, and build connection … but a lot of meetings have a dismal time-to-value ratio. Think about the purpose of the meeting and whether the format best serves the purpose. Can any meetings be re-structured? Are there any meetings you can opt out of?
Questions. Please share your responses in the comments. Just click "post comment," enter your name and click "post as guest"
What is your workplace culture around alone time, and how does it impact your work?
How do you feel about alone time outside of work? Is it something you feel you need? Enjoy? Dislike? How do you like to spend alone time?
